Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
