I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
