There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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