He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
