you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
