Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize