he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
