Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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