im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
