Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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