Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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