I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
