I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We just shotgunned beers for America
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize