hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
