Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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