what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
