VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
