I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
