Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
