he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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