I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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