You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
