We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
