In the future we'll all be gay
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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