yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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