For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize