There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize