You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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