Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize