Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
