we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
