white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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