Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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