Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
