I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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