who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize