Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
