Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
