Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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