you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
