I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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