Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just gift wrapped bread.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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