I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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