..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
