peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
