Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My breasts were aching with rage.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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