Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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