Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
