I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
