Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sarcasm needs its own font
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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