Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't deserve a penis
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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