Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
