is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
