guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
