good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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