I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
