singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
