Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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